Maybe you have been to my apartment, maybe you have not- but I'm here to tell you, the only wall/shelf/table-free-zone is the ledge surrounding our patio.
This one.
"Go away bugs" spray complete. Mission accompli..... @#$^&*@!
Down goes the fuchsia. *SPLAT!* I do not push it over, I do not even think I brushed against it or slammed a door or exhaled with gusto against it. This plant committed suicide. ON MY WATCH. So I forgot to water it every once in a while, I didn't sing it songs, and I might have let the bugs go a little too far. But plant suicide? Common!!!
Despite my medical training and rapid response, the fuchsia had some seriously damaged appendages. I'm not much of a surgeon, so I amputated.
Me: "Branches? Who needs branches!? Not you little guy!"
Plant: "WTF, first you try to kill me, now you chop off my limbs?! Bitch!"
Me: "Its okay, its okay. I'll put you outside where you can get some sun."
Plant: "Are you kidding me? I like SHADE lady, SHADE. Do you even know how cold it gets at night? It stinks out here, and its windy. I bet you wont even remember I'm out here."
Me: "Suuurrrreee I will little guy, hope your arms grow back!! Best of luck!"
So I was in an amputating mood. Cut cut cut. Remember how hard it was not to cut all of Barbie's hair off? Or how good it felt when you did it anyway? Remember how good it feels to snip snip snip away at a piece of construction paper, unfold, and reveal a snowflake? Or slice into a perfectly prepared grilled cheese sandwich? Good times.
I have three fuchsias. All were thriving. I hacked two to bits, and left a third untouched. My rationale? If the two dismembered plants thrive and grow to be healthy, full, and magnificent spectacles then they can rub it in the other leggy, droopy plant's face (it always feels good to be better than someone else, right?). If they turn brown, crisp up, and shrivel, then point their mangy little tendrils at me, at least I will have one healthy plant to show off to them. (SEE, I cared a little bit! One survived my masochistic ways!)
Dismembered limbs.
The one that escaped unscathed.
Wish these plants luck- they need it.
3 comments:
Mrs. Escaped Fuscia looks great with her flowers in full bloom.
Oh that is a tragedy indeed! Next time you break off a branch, you can usually root it in a glass of water (takes a few weeks) In fact I have on sitting on the sill you should take. I just love the color.
Actually, I have one going on the counter too. (Perhaps subconsciously I knew I would need back-up) But I think the fall ended up being a good thing. They were *very* leggy and needed a good haircut, but I didn't have the heart to snip once they started blooming all over the place!
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