Let me tell you a story

Wednesday, November 26, 2008. I am sprawled out on the living room floor trying to figure out an easy-yet-delicious Thanksgiving meal for two. I am on the phone with Joel. "What is the difference between 'salted' and 'unsalted' butter?" and "You really don't think stuffing pairs well with Thai-style beef or Mandarin Sole?" Fine. Steak and potatoes it is. I've got to figure out a way to haul all this stuff up to Mt.Rainier anyway. James and I are going to be kicking it at one of his client's cabin/houses for the holiday.

I get a call. It's James. No more cabin in the woods. Would have been cool to know before now, but, I'm calm. Calmer than you are. Calmer than you are.

I am at the grocery store, on the phone with my mom. "What the hell is 'light cream'? There is whipping cream, light whipping cream, half and half, half cream half light cream, heavy cream, dense cream, fluffy cream, yo mama's cream…. no goddamned 'light cream'." Hold on, I've got a call.

Its Caitlin! Really? Caitlin?

Long story short, I get to be a bridesmaid. ☺

Shit… "Mom? You still there? Frozen green beans are fine right? You just what… throw 'em in some boiling water for a bit right? Mom? Mom, how do I bake a potato? It looks easy, but do I wrap it in something? Rub anything on it? How hot? How long? I don’t have any toothpicks… will a chopstick work? Wait, different recipe…what does 'sift ingredients together' mean? I don't have anything to 'sift' with. All I remember is that Mrs. Mahacheck said sifting is very important. She also said that nobody wants green muffins, so fold gently. I fucking hate cooking."

New call. "Lance? Lets get drunk. I'll make you dessert."

Thursday, November 27, 2008. Thanksgiving day. Hung over. Shower: check. Teeth brushed: check. Coffee: check. To be totally honest with you, I don't even know what I did the first half of the day. Whatever. James came by! We. Sat. And. Did. Nothing.

Time for action. Satellite Coffee: open Thanksgiving day from 10-2. Free French press and cookies: check. Walk in Wrights Park: check.

Now it gets exciting. Hold on to your shorts ladies and gentlemen. What I am about to say will surely blow your minds.

We….went…to…a… movie!!

No really, it was fun. I recommend the flick. Australia. (http://www.australiamovie.com/) I fell out of love with Nichole Kidman, back in love, out of love, back in love… I think I still love her. I do. I love the woman. Add her to my "Celebrity 'TO DO' list."

Time to eat. Now. I am not sure if it is possible for the average human being to mess up green beans. I, Kara Ann Gjesdal, managed to accomplish just this task. I will just say that the salt came out MUCH faster and in FAR greater quantities than I had anticipated. We joked that if you imagined them to be green bean flavored pretzels, they would still be too salty.

We finished our dinner, we conversed. I started to get a bit… antsy. I was having difficulty finishing sentences. I could not focus. On anything. At all. My eyes darted, my fingers moved without me telling them to. I began to panic.

I kicked James out. ("Happy Thanksgiving, hope you had a lovely time, and now you need to leave.")

I closed the door behind him, hit the floor, cried for about 1 minute, had a full fledged anxiety attack, cried for another minute, took a walk, took a bath, and melted into bed.

The rest of my day was uneventful. As was the rest of my weekend. Uneventful in a fabulous way. I LIKE uneventful. I did not get food poisoning, I did not get in a fight with anyone, I did not cut myself while shaving, I did not get trampled by the black Friday crowds.

Yaaayyyyy ME