Forgive me!

I did not realize just how long it had been since I posted something worth reading! My apologies.

Get comfy folks- here is an update!

I am sure that all of you know that enjoy a good drink. I tend to enjoy it even more when it is followed immediately by at least 3 or 4 more good drinks. I enjoy it so much that I partake in multiple drinks damn near every day and while it is pretty cool to be able to keep up with professional drinkers such as my old roommates, I don't know that constantly being blitzed is a good look for me.

Just shy of a month ago I told myself and a few others that I was going to try my best to cut back. That lasted a grand total of about 48 hours. Since I failed at that, I adopted a "fuck it" attitude... who says I need to stop drinking anyway? I do not drink and drive. I do not get trashed and do (too many) stupid things. I do not pass out on sidewalks, lawns, or other people's beds. I've never been late to work or other commitments because of a hangover. So whats the big deal?

Well, turns out just because I'm not out starting fights with the locals, does not necessarily mean I'm not hurting people. People I care very deeply about. So about two weeks ago I made a more serious effort to stop/cut back significantly. Hip-hip-hooray I made it 5 days without a drink! Not much for many of you, but considering I've been drinking on a very regular basis since Junior year of high school... um, five days is big. On day five I had a shot, then went about 5 more days without drinking. I am simply stoked to know that I can do it! That is ten days without so much as a buzz.

I guess my fear was that I would not be able to make it even a couple days. But I did, and I think in doing so it kinda snapped my body out of "must drink" mode. I have momentarily given up on complete abstinence of alcohol, but I can honestly say that this is the least I have drank in years. It feels good.... which is weird. I did not think it would feel good. I am not a confrontational person. At all. I avoid conflict like the plague and this includes coming face to face with my own fears, problems, demons, insecurities, etc. I quite enjoy what alcohol does to my demons. It makes them shut up for a minute. But now that I am actually looking my problems in the face I am seeing that they really aren't as scary as I had let them become. How neat is that?!

In these last few weeks I have had some truly wonderful and enlightening conversations about addictions (of all shapes and sizes). I am lucky to be surrounded by some pretty fantastic individuals- all with their own stories and thoughts on what makes people tick. I am the recipient of some pretty insightful pearls of wisdom. Is it not incredible that by tweaking your perspective or bringing your awareness elsewhere, an entire situation can be transformed?

Well, thats that for now. Thanks for reading all.